A Lineage of Mentors

When the church is family.

Yesterday I reviewed Jon Tyson’s The Intentional Father and listed 25 of my favorite quotes from the book. But it’s worth mentioning that I was no lone ranger. By God’s grace, there were men in my life. None of them were perfect, but in greater or lesser degrees, they made a mark on my life.

• More than any of them was my grandfather who raised me. I could write a book about his life and the ways he shaped me.

• Then there was the high school senior who took me to Panera before church and we read 30 Days to Understanding the Bible when I was in 8th grade.

• Then there was the leader who mentored me all throughout high school even while I deconstructed. Even though this relationship ended abruptly through a tragic situation, his consistency and willingness to handle my questions and tough topics left a mark.

• Then there was a ministry leader in college who took me under his wing early, gave me the opportunity to risk, fail, and flourish, and gave me difficult feedback I needed to hear that stays with me to this day.

• Then there was a peer who I consider a mentor because his ideas, drive, and passion to help the church were so radical at the time, I learned so much just from being around him and being a part of what he was doing.

• Then there was a man who was a pastor and counselor who gave me a picture of what it would look like to thrive in your 50s. He was energetic and compassionate, and would thoughtfully listen and welcome difficult questions. He wasn’t afraid of anything and he had a joy that was contagious.

• Then there was a boss who gave me opportunity and is one of the best leaders I’ve ever been around. You learn how to make things better just from being around him.

• Then there was a successful businessman in his 60s who used to be an elder at a large church, but left that to start a small church in the neighborhood he grew up in, only to leave that in order to serve his family better. He’s the definition of humility. He knows exactly who he is and doesn’t apologize for it while at the same time listening with compassion, empathy, and an ear to understand no matter who you are.

That’s not even to mention my friends and colleagues over the years that have played formative roles in my life either.

Here’s the punchline.

They say it takes five outside influences in a child’s life to help them flourish. I’ve had that and more. Even when your family isn’t the ideal, the church is our family. And there are men—imperfect as they are—who are ready, willing, and able to rally around you or anyone else to be the mentor they need.

I wouldn’t be here without the church being the church.

Seek and you will find.