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25 Quotes from The Intentional Father by Jon Tyson
Jon Tyson's new book for fathers raising sons to be disciples of Jesus.
I’ve written a full review of this book for The Gospel Coalition. This book, if taken seriously, has the potential to heal generational wounds. Jon Tyson is an inspiration to me. He’s also a great follow on Instagram and Twitter. Here are 25 of my favorite quotes from The Intentional Father by Jon Tyson.
When a father is present, emotionally healthy, and involved in his child's life, the child has a tremendous advantage in the world to navigate its complexities and challenges with joy and confidence. P. 20
A man is an image-bearer and son of God entrusted with power and the responsibility to create, cultivate, care, and defend, for God's glory and the good of others. P. 37
Two guardrails, two things I think are crucial to keep in mind during the entire journey of being an intentional father: submission and servanthood. P. 37
What else can you hope other than that your son understands, deep in his heart, that you love him? That you're pouring into him because of how much you care about him and the life he is going to lead? P. 39
Four Questions To Ask Yourself About Your Son: P. 55
What do you want your son to know about God, about himself, and about life?
Who do you want your son to be?
What skills do you want your son to have?
What formational experiences do you want him to have?
May it never be said that your son thinks there is more wisdom about life from Google and YouTube than from you. P. 56
I guess at some point we all have this realization about our fathers, that they didn't quite have the tools they needed to propel us into manhood. P. 64
For fathers, this holds true: if we don't transform the pain we experienced as sons, we will pass that pain on to our own sons. P. 65
Until we know the story we are in, we will never know the character we are called to become. P. 95
I believe one of the great gifts that provides orientation and perspective for a self-focused teenager is to let him know your story- your family background, the place you grew up, and the moments that shaped you into the man and father you are today.
It's important that we bring our sons into our story. P. 96
If you don't impart your values to your son, the culture will impart its values to your son in their place. P. 118
Foundational values in your son's life may lay the foundation for a renewed society. P. 121
Formation happens day by day; distortion happens day by day. We are either helping our sons move into adulthood or joining the culture's attempt to trap them in an extended adolescence. P. 134
Five rules of manhood, five definitive things that have been poured into men in almost every other culture to help shape them and form them away from childish ways.
These rules are:
1. Life is hard.
2. You are not important.
3. Your life is not about you.
4. You are not in control.
5. You are going to die.
What does our culture tell us? Life should be easy, you’re important, your life is about you, you should try to control everything, and you can live forever. P. 136
The life of a boy is a life of ease, a life of self in which we try to control everything, and a life spent living in the moment. But the beauty of being a man is that a man embraces difficulty, cares about others, is part of a greater story, is willing to surrender to a greater cause, and lives for the eternal, not the temporary. P. 137
Confidence comes through competence. P. 163
This is key. This is what men need. All of us need actual discipleship and development, specific advice and skills and ways of living in the world that help us learn how to be good at being men. P. 169
A man is good at understanding and interacting with women. We should learn about that. A man is good at understanding the role and place of money in his life. We should learn about that. A man has self-control. We should learn about that. A man knows how to be a brother to other men. We should learn about that. P. 170
My son began to get a vision of actually living skillfully as a man because--and here's the real breakthrough--confidence comes from competence. P. 170
Being a father is not about efficiency; it's about discipleship. Being a father is not about time management; it's about heart development. P. 178
Our goal as fathers is to help our sons discover who God has made and called them to be. We are not to make them in our own image but to help them along the path of grace so that they are renewed in the image of their Creator. This will bring them confidence and vision to move forward. P. 195
Every time you make an excuse, you conspire with mediocrity. P. 225
Just like Jacob chased his father's blessing, so will your son chase yours if you don't give it to him.
He'll enter into a life of deception and striving, thinking that if he sleeps with enough women or makes enough money, he's going to be worthy. Maybe he'll try to prove himself by chasing public attention or dominating others physically. But the Bible shows us that when we receive a blessing, it changes the nature of our lives. Working from a place of blessing leads to a completely different life than working for a blessing.
Let's bless our sons well so that they don't spend the rest of their lives looking for this in other places. P. 231
I believe that male formation happens best when there's an element of secrecy around it. P. 242
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